10 Reasons to Hate Arkansas…

I don’t really have any feelings good or bad about Arkansas, but of course now that they are the Buckeyes’ next opponent, I have to foster a deep hatred of all things Arkansas. Here’s a quick list:

# Walmart. Destroying the retail economies of small towns all over America, while sending jobs to China.
# Philandering ex-president. And if you are going to be a philanderer, at least do it well. “Ohio’s philandering president”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warren_G._Harding was a much better philanderer, actually having a child out of wedlock.
# Philandering president’s wife. Hilary stood by her man and swallowed her pride. “Harding’s wife probably poisoned him”:http://www.trutv.com/library/crime/terrorists_spies/assassins/warren_harding/6.html. I know who I want with me in a fight.
# The name means “land of downriver people”:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arkansas as in “Don’t drink the water there, the Midwest has been dumping its crap in the rivers forever and letting it flow downstream”.
# Ryan Mallett. Once a Michigan man, always a Michigan man. The taint of Michigan will doom him.
# No MLB, NFL, NBA teams in the state. Hardly qualifies as a state.
# Arkansas’s favorite son, Scottie Pippen, Jordan’s bag carrier.
# The name, again. Most of it stolen from Kansas. And can’t be bothered to say the last letter — do they think this is France?
# S-E-C! I’m sure Arkansas fans will trot this out, but remind them: Arkansas has been getting waxed by the same SEC leaders for years…
# Arkansas in name only. The majority of the “roster”:http://www.arkansasrazorbacks.com/SportSelect.dbml?DB_OEM_ID=6100&SPID=2419&SPSID=30724 is from other states. This is basically an indictment of the quality of football player in Arkansas. The team is really the Texas/Louisiana/Georgia/Oklahoma/Alabama/Florida Razorbacks.

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